The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
BEST PUNS EVER.
HE’S BREAD, JIM.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO TUMBLR IS KILLING ME TODAY
When somebody tells me "Don't look":
every single time…
After joining Tumblr i’m pretty sure my sanity has gone down 50% but my sass has gone up 50% so I think that levels it out.
Me: HAHA THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
Me: OH MY GOD WHAT IS AIR
Me: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL OH MY GOD
Me: Whooooooo, that was a good one.
Me: No, no I am not.
please dont be that person who tries to tell me what hot dogs are made of while im eating one